fearless.

HOLY SMOKES. I truly am in disbelief when I think about the amount of time I’ve been back in gli Stati Uniti – today is the 3-week mark!! These past three weeks have seriously been a roller coaster of emotions, nothing less than what I expected. I’ve had my moments where my heart has ached deeply to be back in Italia with Rat&Jone. Contacting them through the phone truly isn't the same or near as fun! :( The fairytale life we lived over there was truly unexplainable. I miss the simplicity of our European lives, our biggest concern each week was “do we have the boarding passes / train tickets / passports?” J With each passing day, my appreciation for that opportunity increases. Thank you, Jesus for opening my eyes to the beauty and uniqueness of Your creation.

The overwhelming calls, text messages, hugs, & screams I received upon returning home truly made my heart SO happy. After being gone for an extended amount of time, there was a small amount of fear telling me “everyone will have forgotten me & moved on with their lives”, but my friends definitely proved that little thought wrong. I have never felt so loved, cherished, & cared for in my entire life. So, to all my friends & family who diligently followed my life while I was gone & anxiously awaited my arrival back in the USA – THANK YOU, from the very bottom of my heart!!! There’s nothing better than being welcomed home with surprise visitors at the airport, tons of phone calls, & some delicious Mexican food!! I have thoroughly enjoyed driving my car, full access of my phone, Texas sunshine, family dinners, laying out by the pool, embracing loved ones, & celebrating 21^st birthdays with some of my most precious friends.

The reality of being back home has fully hit! I have been slightly frazzled trying to deal with my phone… within 5 days last week I had received / dialed over 70 phone calls!! I wish it were a joke, but it’s not. So, needless to say, the past few weeks have been jam-packed. If I haven’t been working on school for my May intercession class, running errands, or planning my best friend’s engagement party – I’ve been chit chatting on the phone. But of course – I’ve secretly loved every second of it. This is the type of lifestyle I’m used to and am most comfortable with. Don’t get me wrong though, I think the Lord has definitely taught me the value of “siesta” and the slower paced lifestyle in Italy. I am going to make a serious effort to try & incorporate that into my daily lifestyle – if not, life will absolutely pass me by. It’s easy for me to get consumed with thinking about all the things I must check off my ‘to-do’ list. Unfortunately, I don’t think that’s the way the Lord has called me to live. Sometimes I make myself sick trying to get everything done – when ultimately I know that in ALL things God works for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28).

Life is good. The life I am blessed with in the United States is a beautiful one.

My precious grandma is probably one of my biggest fans and encouragers. She is quite the hilarious woman too, she faithfully wrote me a letter every week while I was in Italy. It was truly the highlight of checking the mail -- all 3 of us anxiously awaited the spirit filled & joyful letters from my Nannie. She truly is an inspiration to me in every way possible. She will be the first to admit she is in desperate need of a Savior, a mighty Savior. She fully understands her role as God's child and lives her life boldly. She jumps at the chance to tell anyone and everyone about His love, grace, & mercy. I can only pray I live my life boldly with an urgency for the lost as she does.

Anyway, today at lunch she was talking about how people probably think she's crazy because she never seems to panic or freak out. My senior year of high school when I called her distraught / panicked about my dad's motorcycle accident, she told me "no problem. i'll be at the hospital as soon as I can." no problem?? WHAT! are you serious - no problem? who the heck says "no problem" to finding out their son was in a serious motorcycle accident??! Well, my precious, trusting Nannie does. She said she just knew that the Lord was watching over my daddy, that His angels had protected him, and that the Lord's plan is greater than hers could ever be. So, of course - whatever circumstance or trail we may face will be "no problem."

Thank you, Jesus for creating my Nannie with a beautiful heart that longs to see Your face. You have blessed her with the ability to teach, minister, and love Your people unlike anyone else I know. Her selfless, fearless, and trusting lifestyle is an inspiration to many. I can only hope that one day people will think I'm crazy for my bold, fearless trust in Your sovereignty. I'm lucky to know her and know You more through Her.

"He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting the Lord" - Psalm 112:7