[preface: we wrote this together about 2 hrs ago. together is the only way we're going to survive this.]
we honestly don’t even know where to begin with this post, except that our hearts are in a million pieces. the past few days have seemed like years and we have no idea how to begin processing it all.
we just wanted to give a quick update on our lives because we know we haven’t been responding to text messages & have been pretty out of it. we have been unsure how to handle this situation. it’s been finals week and we know everyone has their own lives to tend to. we wanted to tell people, but we couldn’t bare explaining it 32947397 times.
so here goes, a poorly written, scattered post about the past few days of our lives that will forever be imprinted on our hearts. we feel like we’ve been hit by a truck -- blindsided and every emotion possible has been sucked out of us.
Most who know us, know that we are OBSESSED with Stephanie Bush. She has been our hero since the day we met her. She is always at the forefront of our thoughts, always might even be an understatement. we stalk her & kevin’s (her husband) facebook and are consistently talking to someone from our 3DAY team.
On December 1, 2010, Stephanie went in for a PET scan and they found that her breast cancer had spread to her liver, it was 4cm.
On December 10, 2010 she was admitted to the hospital for retaining fluid and excruciating pain. she remained in the hospital from Friday – Tuesday. Throughout her stay at the hospital, we were receiving constant text message updates and desperate pleas for prayer. we believe, we have faith that Jesus performs miracles, we have seen steph fight through so much, we were HOPEFUL that she’d be okay.
On December 14, 2010, she was supposed to receive chemo at her oncologist. we weren’t sure if the hospital doctor was going to release her to go see the oncologist, but he did. the oncologist (who is an amazing godly man) said that steph’s body couldn’t physically handle chemo anymore. the oncologist released Stephanie & Kevin to go home with hospice and said she probably wouldn’t make it through the end of the year.
Chris, who works for the army and has to make frequent trips to Norman, was planning on dinner with us Tuesday night. After a 10:30 final on Tuesday, Callyn listened to a voicemail from chris saying it was “important”. Instantly, she knew something was seriously wrong and couldn’t help but cry. she talked to chris and he said he was leaving Norman immediately because Steph had been released with hospice. Chris was our bearer of bad news and we wouldn’t have wanted anyone else to tell us this traumatic information.
the remainder of Tuesday was full of endless tears, crying out to God, begging him to heal her, & constant text messages from friends who were with Steph. We immediately made plans to move our finals as early as possible to get home to see her on Thursday. we endured a sleepless night just trying to fathom this situation. our broken hearts were wishing that tomorrow we would wake up and it’d all just be a horrific dream.
As Toni was leaving work on Wednesday, she received some text messages saying that things weren’t going so well with Stephanie and if it was important for us to say good-bye, we should come now. she immediately called Callyn and without hesitation, we made the executive decision. we both knew seeing Stephanie, having closure, and getting to tell her how much she meant to us was way more important than our finals that we hadn't even studied for.
We were on the road to texas by 6:30 and with Stephanie by 9 pm (speed much?). the remainder of our stay was full of love, hugs, tears, stories of Steph’s goodness, and God’s faithfulness. we were able to see Stephanie twice, spend time with our 3DAY team and her family who all mean the world to us. the pain is overwhelming, borderline debilitating. we are desperately trying to be strong – just like Steph has been for so many years.
one of my favorite quotes of our fleeting time at Stephanie's was when Chris said, "you know how I know God loved you? he put Stephanie in your life"
we are currently in the car on our way back to Norman, toni has a final in 3 hours & callyn has two tomorrow. we honestly haven’t been able to focus or think clearly since we found out she was in the hospital. please pray for our finals.
we have countless prayer requests concerning this situation, but for now, we are begging you to just please pray. God knows exactly who you are praying for and why, even if you don’t.
we apologize if we’ve been short with you. we honestly can’t believe this is happening. this can’t be our lives, it just can’t -- but it is and we're trying to soak it in with grace.
as Chris told us:
“it’s like the 3Day right now, we have to take it one step at a time and walk together and lift each other up!”
thank you all for caring, loving us, & sending your sweet spirit filled words.
love&hugs.
With hope for the cure,
Toni & Callyn
